Monthly Archives: March 2011

Gramps: Hobo’s Justice Served (When I Left)


Once upon a time… It was early Spring, approaching Easter in fact. A young, handsome, studly gentleman (YHSG for short) sat; he sat while driving, friend in the passenger seat, white knuckle tight, to the nearest Cineplex. “Why are you driving so fast,” she’d say. “You won’t understand,” says I. Inside my body I’m, basically, having sex with myself (somehow). I’m excited, alright? Words came from the passenger seat, but I was in The Zone (not Tarkovsky’s): “Grindhouse opens today. I hear, nor do I see, anything else until the end credits roll.” Rodriguez makes an ‘End of the World’ type Zombie flick? Umm, yes please. What’s this? Tarantino just made Vanishing Point 2.0? “Jesus, does this car not go any faster?” Continue reading

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Gramps: I Saw the Devil & He Smiled At Me

Grab your revenge popcorn and vengeance soda!

How does one take revenge on a preying psychopath unable to feel pain or fear? In this case, what’s the most potent revenge the prey can suffer beyond death, which is a welcomed release? When the victim hunts the prey, who’s now in control of vengeance? The victim is obviously still tormented by his trauma, and the prey only suffers physical pain since he is emotionally dead. So, the most potent revenge? It’s when vengeance itself wins, destroying both victim and prey: the victim lives, yet without gain; the prey dies devoid of psychological pain. It’s the proceeding generations however (the prey’s family in this case) that ensures continual suffering after death—echoes of revenge passed from one generation to the next. Thus, said revenge creates/continues psychological unrest for all parties involved. Continue reading

The Ultimate Under-Lizard: Rango and the State of Animation

Ever since the Academy introduced the Best Animated Feature category in 2001 eighty percent of the winners have out-grossed the Best Picture victor of the same year. The only exceptions are Finding Nemo, which was second at the box-office to the franchise juggernaut The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, and Spirited Away, which out-grossed Chicago only internationally. Even Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit was more profitable than Crash. These dual achievements—critical and commercial—of animated features over the last ten years have been split between Disney/Pixar and DreamWorks Continue reading

Beardface Reviews: Sucker Punch is Zack Snyder’s Dream and My Nightmare

Is Sucker Punch a good film? No, it’s actually pretty god damn terrible… more on that later… BUT if you plan to see it, and we mean at all, ever, you might as well see the full spectacle that only the cinema experience can provide.

Hold on though. We are not advocating seeing this movie. This is exactly what we expected from the ‘mind of’ or the ‘original vision of’ Zack Snyder (or whatever send-up they’re using) and sadly his M. Night trend continues with each new film. Sucker Punch is the epitome of style without substance, just simple eye candy that we couldn’t believe someone took a writing credit for… Continue reading

Beardface Reviews: I Want to be Friends with Paul… And Simon Pegg and Nick Frost Too.

It isn’t going to make you bust a gut (well, maybe once or twice) BUT it had me smiling the whole way through. Paul is the perfect example of how a comedy full of smiles, good characters and a fun story can be better than one with a few big guffaws and little else.

There’s no denying the Simon Pegg and Nick Frost chemistry. They are friends in real life and their hetero-love for each other comes across every time they pair up on the big-screen, whether working with the usual menage a trois with director Edgar Wright or, like with Paul, teaming up with a new director. The new director this time around is Greg Mottola, the man behind Superbad and Adventureland (as well as plenty of Undeclared and Arrested Development). Continue reading

Beardface Reviews: Red Riding Hood… If Twilight and The Village Had A Baby (We Wished They Aborted)

This fairy tale re-imagining from Twilight director Catherine Harwicke tries so damn hard to capture that supernatural-teen-angst-love audience that it loses every shred of credibility along the way.  This cliche-fest tries to take the Twilight mold and re-shape the story so that our lovely young female lead (in this case, Amanda Seyfried) again gets involved in a supernatural relationship but this time, instead of sparkly vamps, it’s with a talking werewolf (yes, talking). Let the brooding begin…


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