Where’s That Hobo and His Shotgun When Ya Really Need Him?

“What Would Justin Beiber do? Pop star, Ashton Kutcher Look to Buddy Comedy” – L.A. Times (Only in LA)

What's that? My balls just dropped? Super!

Sweet Christ I’m hoping this is an April Fool’s joke… Please? Anything else, seriously; I do not even mind anymore that De Niro is paring up with 50 Cent in “Freelancers.” I’ve lost all anger over that film being helmed by the man that brought us “Soul Plane” (well, it’s more like a low lying trauma now…).

But this is un-fawking-forgivable. First, is there any need? Honestly. Second, and again: is, there, any, need? “What would Kenny do?” I hope he slaughters both Baby Beebs and the other moron before this film hits production (or tomorrow).

I used to watch “That 70s Show” praying (PRAYING!) that the dude with the badass tints would, just in a random episode, give Kutcher’s character a hot-dose of some drug and be done with it. A Mr. Clean energy drink or something. If he had (yes, I know I’m talking about fiction here) would we still have Kutcher in our lives? Maybe killing off that dizzy prick’s character could have stopped K-Dawg’s ‘career.’ I can see it now: sales in anti-depressents would be at an all time low, Jon Stewart would hug Glenn Beck, and Scarlett Jo Jo would finally realize I’m the John Stamos of Twenty-Somethings (Fawk he’s handsome… What an arsehole).

Anyway, I just angered myself out…

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