Straight from the ‘Say it Ain’t So’ department, Sir Joe Pesci, once thought retired, is coming back again. No, I’m not talking about teaming with Scorsese and Bobby D in I Heard You Paint Houses. This project involves John Travolta and, potentially, Lindsay Lohan, while being directed by Nick Cassavetes. Now, if that All-Star Weekend line-up doesn’t bring a tear of depression to your eye, you’re either producing the movie or you’re the Tin Man.
Don’t despair yet folks, as I may have figured a way out of this. There are three possible scenarios: (1) John Boy’s religion refuses to allow him to portray the Mob Boss John Gotti; (2) Lohan, well, just continues to be herself (akin to “Manny being Manny” in baseball); or (3) Cassavetes realizes he’s way out of his realm on this one and casts J-Beebs in a new romantic-drama (I hear you all saying Alpha Dog, but that dog should have been taken out back and shot like Old Yeller – with extreme prejudice).
The only way this works? A 90 minute close-up of Pesci snarling with a toothpick in his mouth. Throw in a soundtrack too, why not, fawk it…