Author Archives: jarettburke

I Saw the Terminator?

What's "I'll be Back" in Korean?

What the what? Kim Ji-Woon and Arnold Schwarzenegger teaming up The Last Stand, a film that is equal parts Die Hard and High Noon? I think, on the whole, this could be extremely exciting. Continue reading

Gramps: 13 Assassins a Modern Samurai Tragedy

Open on a wide-shot of a samurai performing public Hari-Kiri in front of his Lord’s residence as a form of rebellion against said evil, sadistic Lord Naritsugu. My initial thought? “Oh, Christ, this is going to be gruesome.” As I was about to flinch, squirm, and turn away, however, something amazing happened. Takashi Miike, the same Miike that directed a scene where a man is hung by his skin with fish-hooks as he’s tortured, focused on the struggling samurai’s face throughout the entire action: stabbing, slicing, twisting, disembowelment. Continue reading

The Bell Tolls on Thee: “Hesher”

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the Gold Standard in quality acting these days, and thus the films he stars in follow suit. Now, add a dash of Metallica’s Battery, a flaming diving board, and a front-flip into a backyard pool… I think we’ve got ourselves “a stew goin’.” Oh ya, some Portman lady and the weird guy from The Office are in it too. I like fire, flips, and Metallica though.

Where’s That Hobo and His Shotgun When Ya Really Need Him?

“What Would Justin Beiber do? Pop star, Ashton Kutcher Look to Buddy Comedy” – L.A. Times (Only in LA)

What's that? My balls just dropped? Super!

Sweet Christ I’m hoping this is an April Fool’s joke… Please? Continue reading

Gramps: Hobo’s Justice Served (When I Left)


Once upon a time… It was early Spring, approaching Easter in fact. A young, handsome, studly gentleman (YHSG for short) sat; he sat while driving, friend in the passenger seat, white knuckle tight, to the nearest Cineplex. “Why are you driving so fast,” she’d say. “You won’t understand,” says I. Inside my body I’m, basically, having sex with myself (somehow). I’m excited, alright? Words came from the passenger seat, but I was in The Zone (not Tarkovsky’s): “Grindhouse opens today. I hear, nor do I see, anything else until the end credits roll.” Rodriguez makes an ‘End of the World’ type Zombie flick? Umm, yes please. What’s this? Tarantino just made Vanishing Point 2.0? “Jesus, does this car not go any faster?” Continue reading

Gramps: I Saw the Devil & He Smiled At Me

Grab your revenge popcorn and vengeance soda!

How does one take revenge on a preying psychopath unable to feel pain or fear? In this case, what’s the most potent revenge the prey can suffer beyond death, which is a welcomed release? When the victim hunts the prey, who’s now in control of vengeance? The victim is obviously still tormented by his trauma, and the prey only suffers physical pain since he is emotionally dead. So, the most potent revenge? It’s when vengeance itself wins, destroying both victim and prey: the victim lives, yet without gain; the prey dies devoid of psychological pain. It’s the proceeding generations however (the prey’s family in this case) that ensures continual suffering after death—echoes of revenge passed from one generation to the next. Thus, said revenge creates/continues psychological unrest for all parties involved. Continue reading